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Bartenders serve a vital function in the great cultural scheme of things. So, with the hand up from Drew, I became a full time, full-fledged barkeep.Working and going to school became my modus operandi for the next three and a half years. I went to school online and got my B.A. in Philosophy and my M.S in General Psyche, all paid for by Uncle Sam. No, I had no intention of teaching school or becoming a Psychologist. I wanted the degrees to increase my value as a bartender, and eventually it did.I was twenty-five. I was in great shape physically—once a Ranger always a Ranger. I was pulling down fifty-k annual, when tips were added in. And, I owned my own home. But, I was still missing the final piece in the fabric of my life, a woman. That final piece came at me at the end of a particularly grueling shift, that on one particular Friday evening."AJ?" said the voice to my left."Yes." Then I looked and a big smile creased my features. "Geezsus, Jasmine! How long has it been?" I asked.. "I don't get it." It's so weird. "Most guys are into tits" chimed in Remmy. "It's because I wasn't breast fed." Shut up! they said. I told them that I never saw a tit until I saw the movie Porkie's in the 1980's. That to me, a woman wore nail polish and had differently shaped feet. I was on the ground when most k**s are on the nipple. So I saw feet. I didn't ask for it to be that way, it's just circumstance."That makes a lot of sense" FFF said. They asked if I liked summer because of all the feet. And why didn't I live somewhere warm (really good question) and what kind were the best. "All of them. I like all of them. As long as they're legal, k**s feet repulse me, so do a man's. I like them big, small, black, white, tan, with tan lines, pale with pink soles, dry soles, soft soles, clean soles and more than all of that combined, wrinkled soles. But I don't creep and I don't stare."Unless you're making copies!" the lady from Pittsburgh hollers from the next office over. (Aside, God I.
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